Too much schlock in ‘Rock of Ages’

Based on the Broadway hit musical, Rock of Ages is a tongue-in-cheek send-up to the music of the ’80s. While the film has its deliberately funny moments, it isn’t nearly as much as fun as it could be, especially considering the number of cheesy tunes that it includes.

The film begins as Sherrie Christian (Julianne Hough) leaves her Tulsa home for Los Angeles and lands on the Sunset Strip where she meets Drew Boley (Diego Boneta), a bar back at the Bourbon Room, a metal club. Drew immediately falls for Sherrie and gets her a job waitressing at the club. The two have dreams of becoming stars, something they express as they sing the Foreigner tune “Juke Box Hero.” But seeing their dreams come to fruition at the Bourbon Room might be futile since the club is in financial trouble.

In order to save the venue from its demise, rocker Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) decides to play a benefit show and make his solo debut at the club. Stacee, however, is such an irresponsible drunk, club owner Dennis (Alec Baldwin) and his assistant Lonny (Russell Brand) aren’t even sure the guy will show up. When he does finally arrive, he holes himself in his dressing room where he has an awkward interview with a pretty young Rolling Stone magazine reporter (Malin Akerman), who gets inside his head and then inside his pants. After he performs, his sleazy manager (Paul Giamatti) steals the concert proceeds, leaving the Bourbon Room in trouble once again.

That’s the plot in a nutshell, but there are all sorts of subplots and tangents; some are integral and some aren’t. Bryan Cranston and Catherine Zeta-Jones have forgettable roles as the town mayor and his wife fighting to reclaim The Strip by closing the Bourbon Room on moral grounds. Show-stealers Dennis and Lonny discover they openly admit they “just can’t fight this feeling any longer” and kiss.  And finally, there’s Sherrie and Drew’s break-up and predictable make-up.

What might have worked so well on Broadway–fantastic set designs, outlandish rock performances, choreographed dance routines–falls rather flat on the big screen. Hough is clearly miscast for her role–she’s not even a particularly good singer–and Boneta doesn’t have enough charisma for his part. Even the usually reliable Giamatti appears to phone it in here.