In G.I. Joe: Retaliation action is the name of the game

Aside from a few well-choreographed martial arts sequences, G.I. Joe Retaliation has little going for it. An ill-conceived sequel to 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, it starts out with a scene in which the G.L. Joes are betrayed after seizing a nuclear warhead during a dangerous military operation in a remote desert. In the process, their leader Duke (Channing Tatum) is killed and Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), a fearless hulk of a man who quotes Jay-Z when the group heads into battle, takes command of the survivors: Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki). They somehow make their way back to the states where they slowly realize that the man who ordered the hit on them is none other than chief nemesis Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), who has craftily disguised himself as the President of the United States.

In order to retaliate, the trio enlists the help of retired General Joseph Colton (Bruce Willis), who just happens to have a stockpile of weapons hidden in his suburban home, and Snake Eyes (Ray Park), a martial arts expert who helps recruit bad guy Storm Shadow (Lee Byung-hu) to join them. Storm Shadow’s switch in allegiances is one of many confusing plot twists, though it does yield a terrific martial arts scene in the mountains.

The action comes fast and furious in the film and the 3-D looks sharp, even though it was reportedly added after the movie was already filmed. But the storyline here (we didn’t even mention the whole battle for nuclear weapons that can destroy the entire world) is ripe for parody. Originally slated for a summer 2012 release but shelved for some retooling, Jon Chu’s (Step Up 3D) film suffers from a weak and convoluted storyline, subpar acting and a predictable outcome. It’s a $185 million mission to nowhere.